


Every Fish Wants to Kiss You

by onewhomust



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 13:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2026461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewhomust/pseuds/onewhomust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is Tina's fault: the party, the alcohol, the kiss, the hickey on his neck, and the subsequent sexual identity crisis that was a long time coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Fish Wants to Kiss You

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place mid-season 4, around 4x15 Girls (And Boys) On Film.

It’s mostly Tina’s fault, because the party was her idea. And so was the alcohol. And so was Spin the Bottle. 

So really, it is completely Tina’s fault that it is now two in the afternoon and Ryder is just now waking up with a headache that feels like a piranha eating his brain and a hickey roughly the size of Columbus on his neck. 

It starts like this:

Tina convinces Jake that they have to have a “New Directions Bonding Night” on the Friday night that his mom is out of town visiting relatives, and Jake easily agrees. Tina also suggests that a bonding night wouldn’t be any fun if they couldn’t all experience each other’s true selves with alcohol taking away everyone’s inhibitions, and Jake easily agrees to that, too. Plans are quickly made and older brothers are asked to procure alcohol for their underaged siblings. 

Friday brings with it loud music and a ton of booze. Ryder wonders how much money all of it cost, because it’s really a lot of alcohol, but then he remembers that it’s Puck, so he probably didn’t pay for any of it. Ryder feels awkward, sitting on a couch with some beer as he watches Marley and Jake dance to a remix of a P!nk song. He sort of has the feeling that Blaine is the one that volunteered to control the playlist for the night, and he looks over to the stereo to find that, sure enough, Blaine is messing around with an iPod in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. 

Ryder has always sort of had a crush on Blaine. Not that he would ever admit to it. It’s just that the guy is pretty compact and sweet, and when Ryder first noticed him it was right after Blaine’s break up with Kurt when Blaine sort of walked around looking like a kicked puppy for a couple of months. But even then, Blaine was always super nice to him, especially during Grease rehearsals, when Artie made them practice together because Blaine had been his idea Danny and Ryder really had no clue what he was doing. 

Blaine notices Ryder staring and waves. Ryder only debates it for a minute before he decides to take the plunge and go hang out with Blaine. It’s not like he’s got anything else going on right now, and the whole point of this party was to get to know each other better, right? He really would like to get to know Blaine more. 

It only takes two more beers before Ryder is hanging off Blaine’s every word. And maybe also just hanging off Blaine physically, which is kind of awkward because he’s so much taller than Blaine, and a couple of people are giving them weird looks but no one actually says anything. 

The music is still playing loudly, of course, because what would a New Directions party be without a constant stream of music, and Blaine sings along eagerly to each and every song. He grabs the person nearest to him each time a new one starts, declares that it’s his “favorite song EVER, oh my god, we totally have to sing this one together” and since Ryder hasn’t left Blaine’s side for most of the night so far, he’s sung more duets with Blaine than he can remember, even though he didn’t know the words to most of the songs. 

Tina has been watching them closely all night, and Ryder swears he hasn’t seen her take a sip of alcohol, which means she’s probably sober and going to remember this and hold it over his head for all of eternity, but the alcohol makes him not care too much. After his fourth or fifth duet with Blaine, Tina walks over the stereo, shuts it off to the annoyed shouts of her teammates, and announces cheerfully that it’s time for Spin the Bottle. 

Blaine is already stumbling his way to the couch when an idea strikes Ryder so fast it almost makes him trip. Or maybe that’s the amount of alcohol in his system. Or the fact that he’s making a mad dash for the last free space on the couch, accidentally knocking Blaine over in his haste. 

“Oh.” Blaine looks confused as to why he’s suddenly on the floor and his eyes get so big and sad that it almost hurts Ryder.

“No, hey, it’s okay, I didn’t mean to take your spot. Just sit on my lap, alright? It’s cool,” he says, going for smooth and probably coming off as desperate. Jake is sitting next to him and gives him the most judgmental look Ryder has ever seen from him, which is really saying a lot. Blaine just shrugs, only pushing himself up enough to take his place on Ryder’s lap. If there is a heaven, Ryder thinks, this is it.

“Okay, no, hold up, that is not allowed!” Unique shouts suddenly, and all eyes are on her. “If the bottle lands on them sitting there together, we’re going to spend hours arguing over which one of them we have to kiss. One person per spot. That’s how this game is played.” 

“Where’s it say that in the rules?” slurs Artie, but just about everyone else is nodding in agreement. 

Blaine moves to get up, but Ryder clings to him closer. He’s not ready to give him up yet. 

“Dude, you should move,” Jake tells him. “You’re the one that stole his spot anyway.” 

He’s pretty sure he’s pouting, which he would never admit to doing sober, but he slides out from under Blaine after a few more people shout at him. Kitty has scooted over enough to make room for Ryder and he takes the spot, thankful that it’s at least across from the couch so that he can still watch Blaine’s animated face as he cheers on every odd pairing that has to kiss. 

Marley ends up sharing a quick peck with Tina, who shares a kiss with Jake, and Jake’s spin leads him to a pretty hot, if Ryder is willing to admit it to himself, kiss with Unique. Unique kisses Kitty, and Kitty gets to kiss Blaine. When it’s Blaine’s turn to spin, it lands on Sam, and really, what should Ryder have excepted? Theirs is the kiss that lasts the longest so far, to the hoots and hollers of the rest of the New Directions, and neither of them look the least bit embarrassed about it when Tina makes them stop. 

When it’s finally, finally Ryder’s turn, he takes his time trying to determine how hard and fast he should spin the bottle if he wants it to land on Blaine, but he sort of gives up because thinking that hard is making his brain hurt, and wow, he should not have done that most recent shot of tequila. He’s pretty sure Jake’s told him at least three times not to mix tequila and beer, but he hasn’t been listening. 

Taking a deep breath, he puts it all on faith, and spins the bottle. In his mind, he’s chanting “Blaine, Blaine, Blaine” to try to manipulate the bottle into landing on the one person he really wants to kiss. Hopefully he’s not doing it out loud, too. Although if he was, it might explain the look on Kitty’s face. 

The bottle stops, and Ryder follows the path from it’s neck all the way to…. Tina. Fuck. He kisses her, of course, very quickly just to get it over and done with, but he doesn’t think he’s ever felt such crushing disappointment in his life. 

Tina sits back after they kiss and declares the game of Spin the Bottle over, and then everyone is up and dancing again. Blaine has his arm around Jake and seems to be trying to get him to duet “You Give Love A Bad Name”, but it doesn’t seem to be working. 

Luckily for Blaine, Ryder thinks, Bon Jovi is totally in his 80s hair metal wheelhouse, and he all but pushes Jake out of the way to offer up his vocals to Blaine, who grins so brightly in return that the sun might get put out of business. 

The bright smile just makes Ryder really want to kiss him. More than he’s wanted just about anything ever. He’s want to kiss him ever since the words “Spin the Bottle” left Tina’s lips. Really, he’s wanted to kiss Blaine for a lot longer than that, since the cast party for Grease after their opening night, when Blaine looked so broken about something and Ryder just wanted to make his eyes bright again.

He doesn’t realize he’s actually doing it until he hears the surprised noise Blaine makes as Ryder leans in and presses their lips together. He knows he should pull away, that he should apologize and say he just tripped and fell, but Blaine kisses him back before he even gets the chance, bringing a hand up to hold the side of Ryder’s face as he presses in. 

Blaine’s lips taste sweet where Ryder had expected them to taste like beer, and the smell of raspberries is so close the further Ryder leans in. Somehow his hands have found their way to Blaine’s tiny waist, and he’s pretty sure they are moving backwards together, but he doesn’t want to open his eyes to check because he’s afraid he’ll wake up from whatever dream he blissfully stumbled in to. 

There’s a bit of a tumble and then they are horizontal, probably on the couch, but honestly, Ryder’s not even sure where he is anymore, he’s so lost in kissing Blaine, who is the most responsive person Ryder’s ever kissed in his life. Blaine trails his lips to Ryder’s neck and it’s the most amazing thing in the world.

It’s also the very last thing Ryder remembers. 

\---

“Hey dude.” 

It is the Monday after the New Directions Bonding Night, and all Ryder has been able to think about is Blaine. There’s been a mixture of horror, guilt and joy brewing in the pit of Ryder’s stomach ever since he woke up Saturday afternoon. He had never meant for things to get that out of hand, yet he can’t help but to remember how soft and sweet Blaine’s lips were and just how into it he seemed. That was probably just the alcohol, Ryder thinks. He doesn’t know exactly what he’d do if it wasn’t. He’s liked Blaine for a while, but never actually thought about doing anything about it, because the idea of doing anything with a dude is still pretty new to him, even though the party showed him that he definitely doesn’t mind doing it at all.

He knows that he needs to talk to Blaine about it, though, so the first thing he does when he gets to school Monday morning is track Blaine down the the library, where he studies almost every morning for whatever test he has in his AP classes that day. 

Blaine looks up from book as soon as Ryder speaks. There’s an awkwardness on his face that isn’t normally there and the way he sits back in the chair and wraps an arm around himself means he isn’t completely comfortable, but he answers Ryder anyway. “Hey man. What’s up?” 

“I was hoping we could talk. About the party?” 

Blaine makes a little “ah” sound, and seems to deflate a little. He sucks in a breath and then lets out a stream of apologies. ‘I’m sorry. I swear I’m only like that when I’m drunk. Which isn’t an excuse! I know it’s not. But. Yeah. I’m sorry. I’m not a predatory gay, I promise! I know you’re straight, and I was just being clinging, and that was not cool at all, but I will not act like that around you again.”

“No, I actually wanted to apologize to you,” Ryder says, plopping down into a chair across from Blaine, whose eyebrows are furling adorably in confusion. 

“For…?” Blaine asks. 

“Well, I kind of threw myself at you. And I know you aren’t interested in me like that, that you like Sam--” Blaine averts his eyes at the mention of Sam, and looks like he’s about to start protesting, but Ryder keeps talking. “But I just. I really like you for some reason that I can’t explain. I think you’re cute and nice, and I kissed you because I wanted to. You didn’t make me do anything I hadn’t already been thinking about doing with you”

Blaine seems to contemplate this for a moment. “Oh that’s… honestly, I’m kind of relieved. I didn’t think you were into guys, and I was pretty worried I’d taken advantage of you when you were drunk and you’d hate me. I feel better about kissing you now.”

“You should. It was a really good kiss,” Ryder says with a laugh.

“So do you, um, think you might be bisexual?” Blaine asks. 

“I don’t know,” Ryder answers honestly. “I know I like girls. And I know sometimes I like to look at guys. But that’s about all I know.” 

“It’s okay if you are, you know. Or if you’re not. Or if you just don’t know yet, and it takes you years to figure it out.” Blaine sort of sounds like he’s repeating from a self-help website, but it’s sweet anyway, and all of the awkwardness from before has bled away. “You know I thought I might be bi not that long ago?” 

“Wait, really?” 

“Yep. Actually, it was because of another New Directions party. We were drunk and I kissed Rachel Berry during a game of Spin the Bottle.”

“I wanted to kiss you during Spin the Bottle,” Ryder admits. “What happened with Rachel?” 

“After we kissed... it felt really good. I thought, hey, maybe I am bi. I knew I liked guys-- that I never questioned. But I thought that maybe I could sometimes like girls, too. So I tried to date her, even though K- other people told me not to bother. But I wanted to figure it out for myself. It didn’t work out, obviously. I think kissing her just felt good because kissing in general feels good and I was pretty wasted, but I wasn’t attracted to her or anything. Still, I’m glad I gave it a shot to figure it out for myself.”

“So what do you think I should do?” Ryder asks.

Blaine shrugs. “That’s really up to you. If you think you might be bi, or whatever, there’s lots of different identities, so I guess read up on them and see if you think anything might fit you. I can show you some websites that I looked at when I realized I was gay? They have a lot of good resources.” 

“I sort of looked up some stuff by myself last weekend, but there’s just so much of it, and so many different words, like, bi and pan and omnisexual. It’s all really confusing,” Ryder admits. 

“Well, I think the first step would be to maybe figure out if you really do like guys or not. And then go from there,” Blaine suggests. 

“I’m pretty sure I do,” Ryder says. Aside from the crush on Blaine that he’s had since at least October, there’s been a couple of singers and actors, and more than a few wet dreams about faceless and nondescript guys. But it’s mostly been Blaine. At least having that out in the open now feels so much better than letting it simmer in confusion under the surface.

“When I was questioning my sexuality, I went out on a date with Rachel to see if maybe I did like girls that way. Maybe you could try that?” It’s only after Blaine says it that he looks like he realizes it sounds like a suggested that Ryder actually go on a date with him. Ryder drops his gaze to the table. “I’m not saying you have to, of course! And maybe you want more time to figure things out by yourself. Whatever you need to do. This sort of a thing is definitely a go-your-own-pace-type deal.” He’s babbling but trying to sound level-headed and smart, and Ryder thinks it’s just about the cutest thing ever. 

“Blaine,” he says, gently enough that he hopes it masks the way his voice is shaking with how nervous he is. “Would you go on a date with me?”

Blaine stops in the middle of a sentence about not stopping yourself from feeling the way you do about someone, a grin spreading quick across his features. “I would love to.”

It could have been more romantic, Ryder thinks, but as he walks out of the library to head to first class of the day with his heart skipping and his face hurting from the smile on it, he decides he wouldn’t change it for anything. It’s all Tina’s fault, and he definitely needs to send her his thanks.


End file.
